Q
Hello Wherever! What happens when you've
toured everywhere a gazillion times and still the world can't get enough of you?
If you're Bon
Jovi, you tour it again, only this time you're fretting about what's for dinner
and pestering Siberian models. "It's great to be contemporary again"
they tell
Ben Mitchell.
"Osaka, Japan! Let me introduce Mister Richie Sambora!" Midway through
the anthemic bombast of Livin' On A Prayer, Jon Bon Jovi relinquishes centre
stage of the Osaka Dome - a 50,000 seater baseball stadium serving Japan's
second city - to his avuncular lieutenant. Dive-bombing into the guitar solo,
Sambora's face is a mask of joyous disbelief, as if previously unaware of his
ability to play the instrument at all. Reaching the last fistful of notes, he
does a fair impression of a man who is actually ejaculating into his jet black
flares. All the while, the 38-year-old Jon Bon Jovi executes a set of twitchy
star jumps. Tico Torres lambasts his drum kit while David Bryan hunches over his
bank of keyboards in a calf-length leather duster coat. To the left of this
textbook posturing, session musician Hugh McDonald - a long-time associate
brought in to replace turbulent bassist Alec John Such - gently bobs, gazing at
the politely excited crowd like he can't believe how lucky he is.
Question. What do Bon Jovi think about when they're on stage?
Hugh McDonald: "I think about how lucky I am." David Bryan:
"Which hands are going where...the set list...a myriad of things."
Tico Torres: "The audience. If there's one guy who's not having a good time
because his girlfriend dragged him to the gig, I try to get him going."
Richie Sambora: "I really get into the songs. Does my mind wander? No.
There's only a handful of bands who can play stadiums anymore,
and to walk out there in front of all the people there to see you play...not to
respect the privilege of that situation, you'd have to be a real
dick." Jon Bon Jovi: "When I get 15 shows into a tour, I'll be
thinking about where I'm going for dinner, what bar we're heading to and what's
on TV."
So, by the exacting standards of his faithful Sancho Panza, is Jon Bon Jovi
"a real dick"? If a certain level of fame confers that entitlement on
anyone, he would certainly be travelling Cock Class. Since 1983 his band have
sold over 80 million albums. Their latest, Crush, stands at 4 million and
counting, their fifth consecutive British number 1. A total audience of 30
million have seen them play live as they continue to defy conventional wisdom
concerning the imminent demise of stadium rock. Of their contemporaries, only
Aerosmith have stayed the pace, though while Steven Tyler stuck much of his
earnings in his arm Jon Bon Jovi preferred the band. He now has a personal
fortune of, he reckons, "well over 100 million." Clearly Jon Bon Jovi
is not your common or garden hard rock oaf. In response to the roguish
transgressions of Tommy Lee, Bon Jovi could only muster a charge for trespassing
in 1989 when police found him and his wife-to-be skating after hours on a New
York ice-rink. His silly former obsession with the Wild West led to his
five-year-old son being stuck with
the name Jesse James but Jon Bon Jovi seems to have outgrown this awkward phase.
Indeed, since The Sopranos TV series conferred a sinister cool on his home state
of New Jersey, he and the band have embraced the tight-lipped "our
thing" ethos of the Mafia instead. Tellingly, part of their stage set is a
mock-up of the Bada Bing Club, the wise-guy titty bar hangout from the show.
Talking to Jon Bon Jovi as he sips from a plastic cup of sake aboard the
Osaka-Fukuoka bullet train, you find that if he is any sort of penis then he
hides it well. Even the famous flowing hair-hated by men for its salon-fresh
shine and appeal to girls - was cut eight years ago, making the headlines on
CNN. The Jon Bon Jovi of 2000 prefers a loose below-the-collar style favoured by
"down" English teachers.
Apparently you don't like people touching your hair. "Naah." (Bon Jovi
leans forward in his seat and vigorously rubs his head. His hairline is slightly
receding at the temples, and there is a hint of show-through at the crown.)
"F**k, at least I still have it." Are you losing it a bit? "Yeah,
so does every guy my age. It's not fun, but what am I going to do? I'm 38 years
old." Rumour has it that you have a full body wax before each tour.
"What?" (Pulls up his green combat trousers to reveal a surprisingly
pale but hairy leg.) "A body wax? No." Are you
ever unfaithful to your wife when you're away from home? "I'm not a saint.
It's happened." Is your wife alright about that? "It's the kind of
thing that's sort of unspoken. If I were to do it, would I flaunt it? No. Would
I be proud of it? No. Has it happened? Sure. Can I tell you when the last time
was? No, certainly not on this trip." Is it fair to say that people prefer
you with the band to your solo material? "Yeah. It's like everybody knew
Jagger toured for half a second down in Australia on one of his solo albums.
After three songs, you're going Where's Keith? Solo records are made for art,
and they're a lot of fun." Was it a vanity thing? "Sure. It was
absolutely a self-indulgent, artistic vanity opportunity." On the new album
sleeve you're all wearing suits and ties. Do you mastermind the band's image
changes? "No, it's your wife or your girlfriend or the girls at the record
company. Believe me, man, I'd still be wearing point-toed boots with Cuban heels
on 'em, but all the girls say Don't embarrass yourself, take the f**king pointy
shoes off. Oh, OK." Did Alec John Such leave voluntarily or did you give
him the heave-ho? "He was fired." Was that because he was looking too
rough? "Not true." During the Keep The Faith period he certainly
appeared the worse for wear. "Well, he was indulging. When you're striving
to be a very good live band that can turn on a dime and you've got substance
abuse on stage, then it's a let-down. It's like we worked so hard mentally and
physically, I have to write the songs and sing the shit, and then the bass
player decides he doesn't feel like being on the same plane as the rest of the
world." Are you still friends? "Absolutely. I don't think anybody's
seen him for three years though. He'd sold all his worldly possessions and said
he was going to get
a caravan." Could the band carry on if you left? "No." Would you
let them keep the name? "No."
It's just after midnight in Osaka, and Richie Sambora relaxes with a martini in
the band's hotel bar. With his free hand he casually makes
some rearrangements below the belt. Feel free to scratch your balls, Richie.
"OH, I was just adjusting my trousers." Though the room is filled with
teenage Siberian models, in town for a catalogue shoot, Sambora and Jon Bon Jovi
are not keen to make new friends. "I don't fancy baby-sitting." says
the singer. Requests for autographs or to "make picture" are politely
accepted, but anything more pertsonal is clearly not on the menu. Tico Torres,
the only unmarried member of the band since his divorce from Eva Herzigova, the
"face" of Wonderbra, sits in the corner talking with the band's voice
coach, a middle-aged woman who looks capable of bench-pressing half a dozen of
the assembled waifs. David Bryan, meanwhile, approaches a pair of girls who are
clearly drinking from bottles of mineral water. "You guys doing some shots?
Mind if I come over and do some shots?" English not being their first
language, they smile and shrug at the funny curly-haired man. Hugh McDonald,
dressed for comfort in moccasin-style slippers, lasciviously points out a
"young Uma Thurman". A very young Uman Thurman. Perhaps, for the sake
of his consience, some discreet manual relief would be the best course of
action. "That's what I did last night!" gurgles McDonald "Christ!
I nearly took my head off!" Three hours later, as the bar empties, Sambora
declares that he's "dust" As the last of the young ladies leave, he
raises an approving eyebrow. "It doesn't matter where you get your appetite
from," he quips
"as long as you eat at home. You've seen my f**king wife, right?"
Richie Sambora has two tattoos on his right bicep. The tattoos, like
Sambora, are uncomplicated. One is a winged guitar - the first signature model
he designed in 1986 - bearing the inscription Who Dares Wins. Above that are the
words Heather Dearest, a declaration of love for actress Heather Locklear, his
wife of five years with whom he has a two-year-old daughter. Though in both
professional and personal life Sambora is cast as the other half, he feels
secure with who he is. "I don't give a sh*t." he maintains. Do
groupies still play a part in your enjoyment of touring? "Please! Even if
they did, I wouldn't tell you, but they don't. Before I got married I had a
phenomenal time with the ladies. I've had enough fun for a hundred guys."
Is playing the guitar like making love to a beautiful woman? "Yeah, a lot
of times it is. I always look at it as that kind of emotional release. Playing
the solos especially." Apparently you, Jon, Tico and David went to a
bath-house the other night. How was that? "It was f**king great. The
massage is phenomenal. There's all these steams and cold plunges that you can't
find anywhere else." Did you order any "extras"? "No. In
Japan, if you're a "round-eye" you've got to know somebody to set that
stuff up for you - they won't just let you in. So no, there was no
extra-curricular....wanking. I like to have fun but the fun has been redefined
as I get older. It's the same with the band. It's great to be contemporary again
and, as long as it's fun and we're creating good music, there's no reason not to
do it." According to New York comedian
Denis Leary, the motto of a successful marriage should be "love, honour
respect and stay the f**k away from each other as much as you can"
It is a principle that Bon Jovi have adhered to, the lengthy breaks between
recording - its been five years since their last album These Days -allowing the
group to develop their interests outside the band. Jon Bon Jovi has his acting,
Richie Sambora his bluesy solo work and Tico
Torres his hilarious painting. And for classically-trained pianist David Bryan
the most recent hiatus allowed precious recovery time after, in June 1996, he
cut off the tip of his left index finger while using a circular saw in his
garage. "They've got some weird-assed food in this town." says the
hulking Bryan, selecting what looks like chicken from his room service picture
menu. There is a plaster on the reconstructed finger but only to cover some
minor chafing from a golf game with Sambora and Torres the previous day.
"After the micro-surgery I couldn't play for a whole year." Bryan
explains. Sadly, just not using that particular finger was not an option
"There's an order of importance in fingers." he continues. "Every
one on the right hand, you need. On the left hand the ring finger is a bit of a
dog and the little finger is just along for the ride, but the other three guys
really count." A painful rehabilitation was to follow. "man, it was
three hours a day, five days a week. Just touching it gently felt like I'd
smashed it with a huge hammer, so they had to desensitise it. To do that, a guy
over-stimulates it with hot sand, buckets of rice or rocks. Then you work up to
bits of Lego, and they're f**king poking it, electrocuting it in ice. It's
torturous. You're like.."with one one good hand I'm going to f**king punch
you right in the face." Bryan is currently working on two rock'n'roll
musicals, material from which he plans to package with a re-release of his solo
album, On A Full Moon, a collection of piano numbers previously available only
in the Far East and Canada during the early '90s. His "weird-assed
food" never arrives.
Question. If you had to share a flat with someone in the band, who would it be?
Jon Bon Jovi: "Richie. He's the laziest." Richie Sambora: "Any of
them. They're all cool." Hugh McDonald: "Tico." David Bryan:
"I used to share a room with Tico but we got a divorce because he was
insane. I'd like to be on my own." Tico Torres: "Huey. I used to room
with David but he couldn't put up with my party antics."
If, of all the full-time band members, Jon Bon Jovi is the face, Richie Sambora
the guts and David Bryan the bit that plays the keyboards,
then Tico Torres is the heart. A seasoned drummer before he joined Bon Jovi,
during his 20s Torres would often jam at the Harlem house of his friend Miles
Davis. Now 47, gone is the confused quiff/mullet hybrid hairstyle and the gold
elephant's head codpiece he would wear as a 34-year-old. Today Torres sports a
short back and sides with discreetly expensive dark trousers, tank-top and black
Calvin Klein boots. A baleful stare and fixed expression of terminal
disappointment give him the appearance of the kind of guy the Mob call when they
want someone whacked. The message would seem to be clear: Don't f**k with Tico.
Is that the message? Don't f**k with Tico? "it looks that way - I know I
have that kind of face - but I'm really a sweet guy." What does Torres
literally mean? "It's Spanish for tower." How tall are you? "Five
feet nine. Why?" Though known as a relatively accomplished painter, Torres
is also planning to launch Rock-a-Baby, a range of clothing for children aged
0-24 months, in October. "It's going to be cool clothes for kids at
affordable prices for normal people. There'll be little animals playing
instruments, that kind of thing." It seems a far cry from the "party
antics" that drove David Bryan from your shared room. "I think you
learn with age that you can only burn the candle so long. After you've been to
every club and everything like that it gets a little monotonous." How do
you feel about nearing 50? "Great. Anyone who's in the arts never really
gets old - you don't age like an accountant will because you live a younger
life. Sancho Page, he's a philosopher, said How old would you be if you didn't
know how old
you were?" Has being in Bon Jovi changed Tico Torres? "No. You've got
to retain where you came from and treat others as you would like to be treated
yourself. Money or fame doesn't make you better than other people. If it changes
you, you're doing something wrong, because then you're an asshole." Then
the softly-spoken man delivers a firm handshake, picks up his jug of pink
vitamin drink and leaves for a nearby stadium, to play drums with one of the
biggest rock bands the world has ever seen."