JON BON JOVI - OXFORD UNIVERSITY - Oxford Union Address - June 15, 2001
Ladies
and gentlemen, members of the Union, distinguished guests…Thank you. I’ve
been looking forward to joining you here this afternoon. Malcolm X, Robert
Kennedy, Henry Kissinger, Kermit the Frog… that’s a very impressive list of
American speakers you’ve welcomed. Now here I am, the latest Yank to address
the famed Oxford Union.
But, today is a different appearance than I’m used to. I must admit this could
have been rather intimidating. Not the public speaking part – I do have some
experience in front of crowds! But this magnificent setting that is Oxford. In
truth, I entered into this engagement with some pre-conceived notions about your
school, it’s prestigious reputation, it’s rich academic history and it’s
distinguished alumni. However, I also realized, that in all likelihood, some of
YOU in attendance may be bringing with you some pre-conceived notions about ME.
Some assumptions about who “Jon Bon Jovi” is, ideas about fame and
celebrity, the obstacles and the victories in my career, the curiosity and the
gossip about what I’d have to say. And about making a difference. Ladies and
gentlemen, let’s make it our common mission tonight to cast aside all our
pre-conceived notions about each other. It’s simple, but it’s true: you
cannot judge a book by its cover – let’s explore the content.
“ROCK STAR” is such a label, such a clichй… let’s debunk the myth.
I grew up in Sayreville, New Jersey. Sayreville was, and still is, a working
class township and mine was a working class family. My parents met when they
were both U.S. Marines. After they married, my father was expected to follow in
his fathers footsteps as a plumber but became a hairdresser. My mother was a
shop owner and later a florist. They worked six days a week to support my two
younger brothers and me. But like any parents, their hopes were to see their
children do better than they did. In Sayreville, after you graduated high
school, we believed you went to work like your father before you or you ran off
to join the service. My three best friends chose the navy. They told me that was
how they were going to see the world. But I had other plans… I spent my nights
playing with bands in local bars. I wasn’t old enough to be served a pint in
those pubs but when I wasn’t performing on stage I was watching, waiting,
actually learning my craft. That was university to me. My parents, God bless
them, figured “well, at least we know where you are!” If there’s one thing
I give my folks all the credit in the world for, it is that they saw desire.
They saw the dream and never discouraged me. If you have people like that in
your life, you cannot fail.
There is no course on how to be a rock ‘n’ roll star, but it was the only
future I ever envisioned for myself. Looking back on it now, there was no
logical reason to believe… but I believed anyway. In my mind, I was going to
be a musician. I knew it. I felt it. I believed it with every fiber of my being.
It was probably a healthy combination of blind faith, naivete and passion that
carried me towards my dream… and that, if you take ANYTHING from my words here
today, is what you should remember: PASSION + PERSERVERENCE = POSSIBILITY.
Let me break it down.
#1. PASSION
PASSION is my favorite word. Nothing is more important than passion. Whatever
you plan to pursue in life, whatever you do … be passionate about it. Not
everyone is born into this world with the same advantages. It can seem
pre-ordained and unfair when others seem to have an easier time out there in the
world that you. But just because someone is wearing a fancy pair of trainers
doesn’t mean they can run faster. Don’t be intimidated by the competition.
Sometimes, the advantage is having to work twice as hard to accomplish your goal
– the success is sweeter and the failure less bitter when you know you gave
everything you had. Remember it’s PASSION, NOT PEDIGREE that can, and will,
win in the end. It’s not your father’s world anymore. It doesn’t matter
what the world expects from you… it’s what do you expect of yourself? Others
will put their expectations, both good and bad, upon you. Ignore them. Be true
to yourself. It’s your life.
Liz Murray grew up in New York City’s Bronx ghettos. She was neglected by her
parents, both addicts who spent their monthly welfare checks on drugs. There was
rarely food enough to eat or warm clothing to wear – her mother sold her
younger sister’s winter coat in order to score drug money. Her father lived on
the streets. Her mother had AIDS. At nine, she was the most responsible person
in the family, pumping petrol and bagging groceries for money to survive,
nursing her sick mother and raising her sister. By fifteen, her mother had died
of AIDS, her father was wandering the city streets and Liz Murray was homeless.
Her life, to most of us, was a living hell. But in the midst of this horrific
landscape, she knew she could rescue herself. Determined to overcome her
situation, she located her father and dressed him in a borrowed suit so he could
sign paperwork enrolling Liz in a very respected public high school. She doubled
up on her coursework to make up for lost time. She was a voracious student,
sometimes studying and sleeping in the school stairwells that were lit all night
– could you call it homework if you had no home? She finished four years of
high school in just two years time. When she heard about the New York Times
scholarship for needy local students, she applied.
During a school field trip to Harvard University, Liz Murray looked at the
campus and its main library and thought “Why not me? What makes anyone at this
school any different than me?”
She applied. Then, she was notified that she’d won the New York Times
scholarship – in fact, Times readers were so inspired by Liz’s story, they
donated enough money to the scholarship fund to allow fifteen more kids to go to
college. Liz Murray – the same girl who just two years earlier was eating out
of garbage dumpsters took her scholarship money and moved to Cambridge,
Massachusettes. Liz Murray will be a member of Harvard University’s graduating
class of 2004.
Liz Murray is undeniable proof that YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. If
ever there was proof that PASSION, NOT PEDIGREE will win, this is it.
PERSEVERANCE
In the 80’s I had become quite successful in my music career. But just when
you think you’ve got it all figured out, the road of life takes a bend. You
either go on or look for the adventure that bend might bring. It was 1991 and in
the previous 7 years I had released 5 albums, written five #1 singles, won a
Golden Globe, received an Oscar nomination and had sold 40 million records. It
was a good time to sit back, put my feet up and relax. I could wave that banner
like my diploma and say I’d made it. But I chose to start over again in a new
field. I chose to pursue an acting career. Not at the top but at the very
bottom.
From day one, I was just another actor looking for work. My fame wasn’t a help
– in fact, it was a huge hindrance. No one in Hollywood encourages musicians
to make the transition into acting (let’s face it, the track record of rock
stars trying to act isn’t very good.) I had to audition JUST to get an acting
coach. Even after years of acting lessons, I wasn’t being offered roles – I
was going on auditions. Nothing comes easy. It took persistence and patience and
years of waiting until I finally won my first movie role. To be honest, on the
way from the airport to the set that first day, the idea of jumping on the next
flight out of town and running away did cross my mind. After studying in a room
with an acting coach for three years, I found myself on a movie set beside
Whoopi Goldberg, Gwyneth Paltrow and Kathleen Turner. It was terrifying. I’ve
been in 9 movies in the last 7 years, a student of the craft still willing to
fight.
BON JOVI still have to fight. I still have to fight. So I guess what I’m
trying to say is don’t get too comfortable with who you are at any given time
-- you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.
POSSIBILITY
Now we’ve discussed passion and persistence. What’s left? Possibility. Could
I have imagined that my life would be as fortunate as it’s turned out to be?
No. Never . But remember those misconceptions we discussed earlier? Let’s
clear up a few.
This is a nice job if you can get it… Most people don’t get to do what I do.
Everyday I go to work and can’t believe I get paid to do what I love. Rock
‘n’ Roll star or not, if you can say that about your job, you’re luckier
than most. True, I don’t have to go to the office, but believe me, all hours
of the day and night, in all parts of the world, we are out there working.
It’s not the performing that’s work - no I’d PAY to play. It’s
sacrificing your kids’ birthdays, your anniversaries, our American football
season… and not that I’m complaining but I can do without another club
sandwich in another hotel. But even with your degree, even with my
accomplishments, you can never take your success for granted. Not fame, but the
satisfaction that is success. Never take your audience for granted. Never forget
where you come from. Be humble. Stay humble.
People say “money is the root of all evil” but that’s NOT the correct
quote. The actual saying is “The LOVE of money is the root of all evil” –
money can’t buy happiness, it can’t buy you class, it can’t buy you
respect and as the Beatles said, money can’t buy you love.
Fame… Admit it… we all did it growing up… practiced signing our
autographs, imagined what it would be like to be famous. I can tell you this:
it’s weird. I’ve been very lucky. I’m able to live my life with minimal
intrusion from the press and the paparazzi. When I wake up in the morning, it
doesn’t occur to me “hey, I’m famous.” My wife and my two kids did not
choose to be in the music business. They didn’t choose to be famous therefore
I take great efforts to keep them out of the spotlight. With the exception of
some unfortunate paparazzi shots, my children have NEVER been photographed. Fame
ceases to exist at the end of my driveway.
Rock ‘n’ Roll Lifestyle…This is why all of you came. You want to hear
about the drugs, booze, the parties, the women…you want the gossip? It’s
like we say in Jersey: Fuggitaboutit! If you were expecting me to betray the
trust of my friends for our stories of life in a rock ‘n’ roll band,
you’re gonna have to wait for my follow-up tell-all in THE SUN, or is it HELLO
? Don’t get me wrong… I’ve been in this business almost 20 years and am no
saint but BON JOVI has never been the kind of band to air their laundry in
public. Did you see the movie Almost Famous? Did you see all the fun they had?
Well, they were almost famous - we’ve been REALLY famous. Get it? So, sorry to
disappoint but there are some things we’ll keep to ourselves.
So, now we’ve come to the end of my speech. I hope it was like a pretty
girl’s dress: long enough to cover the subject but short enough to keep it
interesting.
I’d like to leave you with these finals words: grow up, but don’t grow old
and live while you’re alive. When I was younger, I had no idea what tomorrow
would bring. Next year, I will turn 40 and I still have no idea what tomorrow
will bring. And THAT’S what makes it so exciting. So as you map out your
future, do it in pencil. The road ahead is long as you make it. Make it worth
the trip.
Thank You.