"Daily Express"- 11.2000
"A Jovial Man"
Jon Bon Jovi has survived two decades in
rock'n'roll with his band - and his marriage - intact. Is his laid-back attitude
the key?
Jon Bon Jovi greets me at the door of his New York apartment with the sort of
smile that melts glaciers. His ice-blue eyes and bed-head blonde hair top a
muscular frame and he exudes the kind of easy-going confidence that is born of a
lifestyle most men dream about. For the best part of 17 years, this 38-year-old
has fronted rock band Bon Jovi, travelling the world and accumulating thousands
of adoring fans. But his musical marriage with band members Richie Sambora,
David Bryan and Tico Torres could have neded much sooner. For success, as he
puts it, "is an intoxicating mistress". With unexpecrted candour, he
tells me how bad it got - that at one stage he came close to ending his life by
throwing himself out of a moving car. "We had recorded and released the
album New Jersey in ten months," he explains "then it was straight
back on the road for 240 dates. As well as performing, I was doing all the
interviews because no one wants to talk to the bass player, the keyboard player
or the drummer. I just wanted to make everyone happy, so I carried on. I'd say
"You need me in Australia? I can be there. Then we'll go to London, then
we'll go to Africa, then I'll be in New York, no problem." I thought I
could handle it, but I was physically and mentally drained, I was punch
drunk." On the advice of
his wife, Dorothea, he sought psychiatric help. The episode isn't one he's
comfortable with. He wriggles uneasily in his chair as he admits: "I went
to see a psychologist - or whatever the terminology is. On the way there I
thought about jumping out of the car- that's how burnt-out I was. I was very
anxious to talk to someone, but I couldn't find the place and got there 45
minutes late. I really wanted to go in there and spill my guts about everything
in my life, for however long it was going to take. After 15 minutes the guy says
"Your time's up" I got very Sopranos, swore, and went "OK, Thank
you very much. I'll work out my problems at home." He calls this period in
1991 "the grey summer" and it marked a turning point. He took direct
action and fired the band's management team: "I wasn't told by the machine
to sit down,
take a break, go to sleep. They were happy to be making money, that's why I
fired them." Instead he hired a mediator. "Aerosmith introduced us.
This guy said: "What seems to be the problem, boys?" I said "I
don't want to do all of this work."; Richie said "I want to do more of
it." and Dave said "I'll do any of it." and the mediator was in
the middle sorting it all out. Then he said "OK, that's how businesses are
run, that's how countries get on. Have a nice life."
Since then the band has gone from strength to strength, selling 80 million
albums to date, which have spawned hits including Livin on a Prayer, Keep The
Faith, and These Days. By his side throught has been karate teacher Dorothea,
38. The couple started dating at school, and married in 1989. They have two
children, Stephanie Rose, seven, and five-year-old Jesse James Louis, and they
divide their time between their New Jersey ranch and New York flat. He admits he
has put Dorothea through hell: "She has tolerated unbelievable excess - on
the part of the neighbours as well as myself. There was a time people would come
over for a beer at 10 in the morning and we could go on until two the next
morning."
It wasn't just alcohol that tested her patience, she also endured infidelity.
When I ask whether it's been easy being married when women habitually throw
themselves at him, he admits he's taken full advantage of the situation.
"Sure. Do you think I've been a saint?" Since he's been married?
"Sure. It's nothing I'm proud of, but has it happened? Yeah." Asked
whether it still happens, he answers quickly "No." His marriage has
lasted, he says, "Because there isn't anyone we would rather hang out with
than each other, but we try and give each other a lot of space. She has her own
karate school, and I don't get involved with that. But when it was time to build
the place, I was down there painting the walls. I have my work and she doesn't
come around and go "I'm Mrs. Bon Jovi" That wouldn't have worked. She
has independence and that's good. We both have our thing. Dorothea has been very
supportive, the voice of reason. I can turn to her and she
speaks the truth. She tells me if I'm full of s***." His vices these days
are few, it seems. "I like good wine, that's about it." He confesses
to experimenting with drugs, but says that his low tolerance threshold prevented
the development of a serious habit. "I got deep into it very, very young
and had a bad trip when I was 14. I realised I didn't have the capacity to
handle my drugs very well."
Bon Jovi's latest album Crush, released in the summer, is their first for five
years. In the interim they completed a world tour and released solo albums -
including Jon's widely panned Destination Anywhere - which proved they are a
stronger force together than apart, and Jon developed his acting career. After
Moonlight and Valentino with Gwyneth Paltrow in 1995 came a string of
small-budget films for which he was praised by the critics until earlier this
year when he won a part as a naval officer in Second World War submarine
thriller U-571, starring Harvey Keitel and Matthew McConaughey. "I was
proud of what I did. Working with those guys was a truly great experience. I
felt I was there to learn. I loved it." He plays an abusive drunk in Pay It
Forward, a love story starring Kevin Spacey that's hotly tipped for an Oscar. He
says his short fuse helped secure the part. "Before the audition I was very
focused until they made me sit out in a freakin' lobby where all these people
kept coming up and talking. I went in and said "Look, I was in the right
place for this and you're bugging me with all these Chippendale dancers in the
hall." I read the part and I was such a scummy rotten fink, they gave it to
me." He starts his first lead role, in a Halloween-style film in January.
"It's a $10 million budget movie. I play a vampire killer which is a hip
part."
Born John Bongiovi, he grew up in New Jersey, the son of a hairdresser and a
former Playboy bunny girl, and the eldest of three sons - brothers Tony and
Matthew are a video producer and agent respectively. He credits his mother for
much of his success "She'd say "Kick the door down, you can do
it" I have her drive and my father's easiness. My parents have us the
opportunity to dream and the attitude that anything you want, you can have, as
long as you work hard for it."
He formed his first band aged 15 and scraped through school. "I was lucky
to graduate, I got a D average." He took a string of menial jobs and was
working as a cleaner at New York's renowned Power Station recording studios when
he formed Bon Jovi, aged 21, and took their demo tape to a DJ in Long Island.
The meeting led to their first record deal. Their Eighties poodle haircuts have
been tamed, together with their excesses, and Jon puts their longevity down to
their
songwriting ability and a balanced mix of personalities. "We each define a
different role. There's the funny one, the happy one, the smart one and the cute
one. Dave is the funny one. He has been a friend of mine longer than the other
guys, more than 20 years. Tico is the smart one. He's the voice of wisdom and
he's been through everything and back again. Richie is the happy one, but he
lives in California and I hate that place, so we run in different circles."
I suggest that would make him the cute one and he smiles, tongue firmly in cheek
"That would." He adds;" I would like to think we've lasted mostly
because people like the songs, which have always been about faith, hope, loyalty
and optimism. Some have stood the test of time better than others, but the
message has always been the same." Jon is good company. Forthright, yet
charming, he displays the self-assurance of a man who has found his place in
life and it's hard to believe he was once so messed up. Buying a home in New
Jersey has helped keep his feet on the ground. "It's where my friends and
family are. It's where all my ghosts and skeletons are." On his days off,
he's happy to pull his weight as a father. "I'm pretty good. I wa sup this
morning making the breakfast." He recently missed his high school reunion
because he was touring, but would like to have been there. "I was
intrigued. It marked 20 years since we graduated and it made me think what if
I'd gone right instead of left? What would have happened? Fortunately I learned
how to write a song and since then it's been a rollercoaster ride."